Japanese Wedding Traditions and Etiquette – Complete Guide

Looking for wedding traditions in Japan? We’ve gathered the complete guide for Japanese wedding traditions – including how they celebrate, gifting etiquette, traditional clothing, food and drink, and more.

Weddings are filled with unique traditions and festivities. Add to the celebrations with a memorable gift experience or a thoughtful gift.

To help you explore Japanese traditions, this article is organized into:

Unique Japanese Wedding Traditions

Japanese weddings are steeped in tradition and cultural significance, blending ancient customs with modern influences. Let’s explore some of the unique rituals and traditions that make Japanese weddings special:

• Shinto Ceremonies: Many Japanese weddings incorporate Shinto rituals and ceremonies, as Shintoism is one of the predominant religions in Japan. These ceremonies often take place at a Shinto shrine and are officiated by a Shinto priest. Couples may participate in purification rituals, offer prayers to the kami (spirits), and exchange symbolic items like sake and rice.
• San-san-kudo: A central aspect of Japanese weddings is the “san-san-kudo” ceremony, which involves the couple exchanging sake (rice wine) three times each from three different-sized cups called sakazuki. This ritual symbolizes the union of the couple and their families and the bond of loyalty, happiness, and harmony.
• Tsunokakushi: During the wedding ceremony, the bride may wear a decorative head covering called a “tsunokakushi,” which symbolizes her obedience and modesty as she enters married life. The tsunokakushi may be adorned with flowers, silk cords, or other embellishments, and it often conceals the bride’s “horns of jealousy,” symbolizing her intention to be a faithful and devoted wife.
• Yui-no: The “yui-no” is a traditional Japanese engagement ceremony where the families of the bride and groom exchange symbolic gifts, such as sake, seaweed, or dried fish, to seal the engagement and express gratitude for their future union. This ceremony strengthens the bond between the families and marks the beginning of wedding preparations.
• Nijikai and Sanjikai: After the wedding ceremony and reception, it’s common for Japanese couples to host additional gatherings called “nijikai” and “sanjikai.” The nijikai is a second party where guests can enjoy more food and drinks in a relaxed atmosphere, while the sanjikai is a third party often held at a karaoke bar or izakaya (Japanese pub) for further celebration and bonding.

Traditional Japanese Wedding Attire

Japanese weddings are steeped in tradition and cultural symbolism, reflected in the attire worn by the bride, groom, and wedding party. 

• Bride’s Attire: The bride typically wears a “shirokakeshita,” a traditional white kimono, symbolizing purity and innocence. This kimono features elaborate embroidery, intricate patterns, and may be adorned with auspicious motifs such as cranes, turtles, or cherry blossoms. Over the shirokakeshita, the bride may wear a colorful outer kimono called a “uchikake,” often in shades of red or gold, symbolizing good fortune and prosperity.
• Bridal Hairstyle and Accessories: The bride’s hair is styled in an intricate updo adorned with hair ornaments such as “kanzashi,” decorative hairpins made from silk or metal. These hair ornaments may feature traditional motifs like flowers, butterflies, or auspicious symbols. The bride also wears a “tsunokakushi,” a white hood or headpiece, symbolizing her purity and obedience as she enters married life.
• Groom’s Attire: The groom traditionally wears a “montsuki,” a formal black kimono featuring family crests known as “kamon.” The montsuki is paired with “hakama,” wide-legged trousers, and a “haori,” a formal jacket worn over the kimono. The groom may also wear a “hakamashita,” a white under-kimono, symbolizing purity and sincerity.
• Bridal Party Attire: The bridal party, including parents and close relatives, may also wear traditional Japanese attire. Mothers of the bride and groom often wear elegant silk kimonos called “furisode” or “tomesode,” while fathers may wear “montsuki” with hakama. Bridesmaids and groomsmen may wear coordinated ensembles in complementary colors, often featuring kimono-style jackets or dresses.
• Accessories and Footwear: Traditional Japanese wedding attire is accessorized with symbolic items such as “obi” sashes, “obi-age” and “obi-jime” cords, and “zori” sandals or “tabi” socks. The bride may carry a small pouch called a “kaiken,” containing symbolic items such as rice, salt, or a folding fan, to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck to the marriage.
• Color Symbolism: Colors play a significant role in Japanese wedding attire, with white symbolizing purity and red representing happiness and good fortune. Gold accents are often used to add richness and elegance to the ensemble, while auspicious motifs like cranes, turtles, and cherry blossoms convey wishes for longevity, prosperity, and love.

How to Say “Best Wishes” in Japanese?

In Japanese, to express “Best Wishes,” especially in a wedding context, you can say:

“ご多幸を祈ります” (Gota kou o inorimasu).

This phrase conveys warm wishes and blessings for happiness and prosperity. It’s commonly used to extend congratulations and good wishes on special occasions like weddings.

Need more wedding wishes? Here is our full article on Wedding Wishes in Other Languages.

Japanese Wedding Gifting Etiquette


Gifting is an important part of Japanese wedding culture. Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:

Do’s in Gifting

• Gift Money (Goshugi): It is customary to bring gift money in a special envelope called Goshugi-bukuro. The amount varies depending on your relationship with the couple. For friends and colleagues, the average amount is ¥30,000 in Tokyo and similar areas, while for bosses or relatives, it can range from ¥50,000 to ¥100,000.
• Presentation of Gift: When presenting a gift, offer it with both hands to show respect and modesty. The gift should always be wrapped, either in decorative paper or a nice bag. Traditional Japanese wrapping paper, known as furoshiki, is a beautiful option.
• Receiving Gifts: It is customary to initially refuse a gift politely before eventually accepting it. When accepting a gift, do so with both hands as a sign of respect and say thank you. Avoid opening the gift in front of others; it should be done in private.
• Avoid Unlucky Numbers: Avoid giving gifts in sets of four, as the number four is associated with death in Japanese culture. Instead, giving gifts in pairs, sets of eight, or three is considered lucky.
• Thank You Gifts: If you receive gifts from people in your age group or equals, it is polite to send a letter of thanks or give them something in exchange, known as okaeshi. These thank you gifts are expected to be worth around half the value of the original gift and typically include items like alcohol, sweets, or small household-related items.

Don’ts in Gifting

• Avoid Even Numbers: Do not give gift money in even numbers, as even numbers are associated with the idea of being split or divided. Odd numbers like ¥30,000 or ¥50,000 are more appropriate.
• Don’t Give Worn or Damaged Bills: When giving gift money, ensure the bills are crisp, new, and without any stains, markings, or folds. Avoid using worn or damaged currency.
• Don’t Give Directly to the Couple: Do not hand the gift money directly to the couple. Instead, leave it with the receptionist when you arrive at the wedding venue.
• Avoid Exaggerating the Gift: Do not boast or exaggerate the value of the gift you are giving. It is considered inappropriate to draw attention to the worth of the gift.

Wedding Kimono Change (Iro-uchikake)

Some Japanese brides opt for a wardrobe change during their wedding reception, transitioning from the traditional white kimono (shirokakeshita) to a colorful and ornate kimono called “uchikake.” The uchikake is often elaborately embroidered with auspicious motifs and is worn as a symbol of prosperity and happiness.

Wedding Koi Carp Flags (Koinobori)

In some regions of Japan, it’s traditional to display “koinobori,” colorful carp-shaped flags, outside the home or wedding venue during the wedding season. These flags symbolize perseverance, strength, and success, qualities that are wished upon the newlyweds as they embark on their married life together.

Family Heirloom Kimono (Iro-muji)

Some brides choose to wear a family heirloom kimono, known as “iro-muji,” passed down through generations for their wedding ceremony. These kimonos are often cherished family treasures and are worn with pride as a connection to the past and a symbol of family unity.

Butterfly Release (Chou-chouage)

In some modern Japanese weddings, couples may choose to release butterflies during their ceremony as a symbol of new beginnings, transformation, and the beauty of love. This symbolic gesture adds a touch of enchantment and whimsy to the celebration.

Conclusion

Celebrating weddings in Japan goes beyond vows and rings. It’s a time to honor love, cherish family, and embrace timeless traditions.

Weddings are imbued with cultural richness and meaningful rituals. Enhance the festivities with an unforgettable gift experience or a thoughtful gift. So, here’s to a traditional way of celebrating weddings!